Splendid Really!

Dear Brother,

I was talking to mom the other day and I asked her if she realized that, within the week, she wouldn’t have a teenager anymore; both of her children would be in their twenties. She didn’t seem too affected by it, but I can’t quite believe it. Twenty years old – it’s so weird to me because I simultaneously think you’re still my much younger baby brother and that you’re also one of the most adult, mature people I know. Within both of these frames of mind, it’s hard to believe that you’re just [& only] twenty years old.

This is a great birthday compared to last year though. Even if you can’t be here at home with us, it’s such a strange comfort to just be able to talk to you. It’s become the best part of our lives just to be able to reach you by picking up the phone or sending a text, and I can’t imagine what it will be like to give that up again. Even if you have to be all the way in North Carolina, it brings endless comfort to know that you’re safe and we can [& do] receive a drunk phone call from you whenever we want [& with you, it’s often]. I feel like the lucky one on this birthday of yours, especially compared to last year’s, and I want to hold onto that feeling as long as possible – knowing that you’re with your friends, drinking, having fun, being SAFE [!!] and enjoying your day instead of working to keep yourself and your friends alive and fighting so hard that you don’t even remember it’s your day.

The other day I watched the video I made you when you graduated from high school, shortly before you left for boot camp. It’s hard to believe that was almost two years ago. I say it often that I am so proud of the man you are growing up to be, but it’s hard that you’re doing all that growing up so quickly and in other parts of the country and the world. I definitely took for granted the opportunity I had to be your best friend when you were still at home, but one of the few silver linings of you being so far away from home for so long is the realization of how much I really do love you, how integral your presence is to my life, how proud I am of nearly everything you do, and how I would – without hesitation – do anything for you.

You are wise beyond your years – not unlike your older sister, ahem – and I try to take comfort in the fact that you don’t need my advice, you don’t need me to take care of you. I hope, though, that you’ll always want some help from me – that, even as you continue to grow older [& freakin’ bigger EVERY DAY] that you still find a reason for me to be your big sister. It’s the best job in the world & I’m so honored to be yours.

Happy 20^th birthday, baby brother. You are smart and strong and kind and hilarious and brave. You are an inspiration to me and to so many. You are such an integral and awesome member of our family. I miss you. I love you.

Your Big Sister